The vast ocean in front of me
Waves crashing onto the shore
and then fading away
Calming the rhythm of my heart
Spectating the most natural movement
The flow of the water
Like it is meant to be
And I slowly let go.
I always put this pressure on myself to do it all – learn another language, become an artist and paint all the time, practice piano, read all the books, study, make more of myself. We live in a world where we are supposed to do it all – Achieve something or you wasted your time. This thinking is so imprinted in my mind – however through all this pressure I end up doing nothing. And then I beat myself up for not doing enough. I start a project and am super passionate about it and then I stop – abandon it. I have no discipline.
And if anyone else would tell me that they think that way – I would tell them that they deserve to do nothing, you don’t always have to achieve something, just look after yourself! And I would mean it – but we always tend to be kinder to others than to ourselves.
So why can’t I do everything at the same time, why do I lose interest for a while and do other things before returning back to a project.
This pattern became even clearer through lock-down (Covid-19). I had my mini epiphany that helped me change my thinking a little bit.
What if that’s the way we work. Everything comes in waves. It’s the most natural movement. Just like the tide comes in and out. Just like the waves crash onto the shore and then ebb away.
It is an explanation that made sense to me and that helped me let go of the pressure. Those little bits of inspiration and energy come and go. Sometimes they stay longer and sometimes pass quicker. Just accept the movement and go with the natural flow.
I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me. But maybe this thought helps just one other person out there.
Let go of pressure and accept the natural flow of things.
Fabienne Belgardt 